Finally.

So, I've been wanting to this on and off for four years now, but never actually got the permission.

Anyway, My mum finally said yes so I went and got my nose pierced = D

Take a look. = )
I'm very happy. = D

CHENNAAII! <3

I woke up on Sunday morning at 6 a.m, thinking I was going to be late. I had a dream that night about being a bird in the winter.
I got up, got ready and woke my parents by about 7:30. We thought we were supposed to be there by 8:30 which turned out to be 9:30. So, in those two hours, I managed to cry and have several panic attacks. Something about living in Delhi just didn't seem right to me. 'Course I didn't tell anyone. But I just didn't see my slightly hippie or gypsy self fitting into the atmosphere there. Somehow, I love Delhi, and my family there (bloggers included), but it's a very tense city, I feel.
Anyway.
We left at about 9:10 and Avee was still fast asleep, she wished me luck and zonked off, again. Haha.
I was in a green top and brown skirt with pink accessories.
NIFT was less than two minutes away from Asiad, which was good.
The first thing I noticed on entering was that NIFT, did not look like a Design school. NIFT in Chennai screams creativity with its angles and colours and very bold strokes. Delhi's NIFT looked like your typical depressing government building. It was dusty and smelled like poop. No, I am not joking.
The minute I took in the atmosphere as opposed to Chennai where the creative vibes hit you in the face, my face fell. This was not what I was expecting. It looked like.. IIT. = \
So, we went to the hall (candidate + 3). The chairs were dirty and it reminded me of my old school. No, not in a good way.
I turned to my mother and said.. "I want Chennai, I do NOT see myself here".
My uncle heard me and thought I was on the verge of yet another panic attack and all three of them began trying to calm me down. Nothing I said convinced them of how serious I was. Then, I remembered my dream and told my mum about it. I just said.. "And what do birds do in the winter? They fly south. I AM TAKING CHENNAI". They laughed, but mum believed me, I feel.

We had this presentation and when they put up the number of seats left, Delhi said.. "0". Destiny, don't you think? But, it is weird, because, a friend of mine who was rank 41 didn't get a seat. Hmm.

ANYWAY. I saw that, I was happy, I made friends with a few girls who chose Mumbai and Calcutta. When my rank and name (which was killed) were called, I got my documents verified and explained to a very amused lady that some Chennai schools write board papers on 200. I chose Chennai, paid my fees and here I am. Back home. For the next four years.
My mom was so happy she wasn't "losing her baby" that she almost cried.
I'm still hyper excited and it turns out a lot of my friends who were supposed to leave are staying back too. So, it all turns out for the best.


NIFT, Chennai, here I come.
P.S. I didn't settle for Chennai, I chose it. And I think THAT made all the difference in the world, to me. = )

Thank y'all for the support and the prayers, I would be lost without you.

= \

So, I am freaking out. BIG TIME.

My counselings on Sunday, I'm meeting Ki on Friday!
I might get Delhi, I might not.
I will get Chennai, but I don't know if I want to stay here.
I am freaking out.

There's going to be a board, showing you the number of seats left in a course and centre.
It is going to kill me.
I have paced up and down. I have grumbled, I have freaked out all over the place, shouted, cried and now, well, blogged.
I'm still not calm.

I was reading Mystique's blogspot.
And, I've been doing pretty much the same, only over the period for a few weeks. I've gone to my friends and ranted, yelled at my parents, fought with them, blaah, blaah, blaah,


All this for a college I've already been accepted in. GOODNESS.
I am an emotional joke.
ANYWAY, I'm leaving to Delhi tomorrow, YAY.

So, before I pass out from worrying, I shall go now.
Wish me luck, and hope I get Delhi, Fashion Design. = )

Thank you guys, for being there.
*Inhales*
*exhales*

Okay, I'm good. Bye.


P.S. Why did I make my link "genuis on the loose"? Oh yeah, I was 15 and silly.

RETARD

I am.. sick.
I'm twisted.
I'm pathetic.

I'm cruel, mean and selfish.
I am a little hyper.

Sometimes bitchy.
Highly insecure.

I write long emails and never get replies.
I pour my heart out to someone who ends up mocking me.


I can't blush.

I still get excited when someone who hurt me gets hurt.
But feel like a creep later.

I have stalkerish tendencies.

I hyperventilate like there is no tomorrow.

And I'm attached at the hip to people I care about.


Yes, you're right. I need therapy.

Read. Listen. Enjoy Brilliance.

Listen to this boy.

He's brilliant. = )

And, he's my best friend. Double bonus. = ))

GO HERE.

Please come back.

I could tell you anything without being judged.
I could make fun of you, and you had a laugh at me too.
In sorrow, joy and happiness, we were together.
Sometimes even pain, but it meant nothing when we were with eachother.
We wouldn't talk for months.
But, with one conversation, all of it would be erased.
I depend on you, and you depend on me too.
But now, everything seems so.. different.
I haven't seen you in a month, I miss talking to you.
I miss seeing your funny face.
Your love, your obsessions. As much as they drove me crazy, your playboyish tendencies, got me frustrated.
Your need to watch that same thing over and over again.
Frustration, irritation and the need to kick your behind.
You're annoying, you piss me off.
You say things that get me all confused.
Your words make my head swim.
Your actions, I can never predict,
You calling me a guy, I'm sick off. But it's still cool.

Yet, with this love- hate relationship we share,
We've always been best friends.
UGH, it frustrates me that I miss you so much!
Arggh, I hate feeling like this.
I want you back in my life, on a permanent basis!
I don't care what it takes, I just..

NEED YOU.

And, I miss you.
Don't stay there, come back.
I want my best friend back!
Please, please come back.

Dark and PROUD.

"How come your mom's so pretty and fair and you're so dark and ugly?"
"Shruti, they have fairness creams for a reason, for people like you"
"Ugh, how can you stand being so dark?"
"You know, you could be considered pretty, if you did something about that horrid skin colour"
"I know that you were madrasi the second I saw you. All of you are so black".
"Ugh, don't sit next to me, your colour will stick"

And they never stop.
Yes, I'm dark.
No, I do not want to use a fairness cream.
No, I still think I'm pretty decent looking.
YES, I like my skin colour.
And I can wear whatever colour I want. I will wear black, dark blue, brown and all the dark colours. I don't care if YOU think they don't suit me.

Just today, I was asked what would look nice with white pants and a blue jacket. I said white, would look normal. So, a green, yellow or even pink T shirt.
The guy laughed and said "Tell her she should do fashion designing, she'll really make it big".
Then, I found this. Michelle Obama is considered one of the leading Fashion Icons today, she's the second First Lady to grace the covers of Vogue. She, in that picture is wearing white trousers, green and yellow layers and a dark blue jacket.
An added bonus, she's dark. So THERE.



I feel pretty, I feel nice. I like looking at myself in the mirror.
And so should every other dark boy or girl.
Wear black, dark brown, hot pink, whatever you want. Don't listen to people whose imaginations can't get past what's been DONE.
Think ahead, break rules.
We're probably the only ones who will.

I have no problem with being dark.
And I think that every person in this country who thinks being dark sucks, you suck. Why can't you be happy with what you are? Why this obsession of being WHITE?
I, for one am proud of my skin tone.

And no one can change my mind.

You there, spending most of your money of fairness creams, people like you should really take time to get your priorities right.